An Apple a Day Plus a Good Chuckle…

According to researchers at the University of Maryland Medical Center, viewing a funny film can increase blood flow and just might even help reduce the risk of heart disease. In a study, twenty adults were to watch either sad or humorous movie segments. In fourteen participants, during a sad clip the blood flow in the blood vessels that run from the shoulder to the elbow was reduced. During the funny clips, the blood flow increased in all of the participants except one. So for maximum health benefit and to keep the doctor away, it might be wise to have a good chuckle with your apple. – Medizine’s Healthy Living Magazine

Remember….you don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing!!!

Some of my favorites:

Cajun Math Test —

A Cajun man wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little Math test.

“Here is your first question,” the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number nine.”

“Without using numbers?” the Cajun says. “That is easy,” he says, and proceeds to draw three trees.

“What’s this?” the boss asks.

“Ave you got no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes nine,” says the Cajun.

“Fair enough,” says the boss. “Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is ninety-nine.”

The Cajun stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. “Ere you go.”

The boss scratches his head and says, “How on Earth do you get that to represent ninety-nine?” “Each of the trees is dirty now. So you get dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Dat is 99.”

The boss is actually getting worried now that is he going to have to hire this Cajun. So he says, “All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.”

The Cajun stares into space for a moment, then picks up the picture and makes a little mark at the base of each tree. “Ere you go. One hundred” he says.

The boss looks at the attempt and says, “You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!”

The Cajun leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, “A little dog come along and lef’ a little sumpting by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes one hundred.” “So when I start?”

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Test for Dementia –

Exercise of the brain is an important as excercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important that we keep mentally alert. “If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it,” works for the brain, too.

Okay. Relax, clear your mind, and begin…

• (1) What do you put in a toaster?

Answer: “Bread.” If you said “toast,” give up right now and go do something else. If you said, “bread,” congratulations, go on to No. 2.

• (2) First, say “silk” five times. Then spell silk. Finally, what do cows drink?

Answer: “Water.” If you said, “milk,” please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and just may overheat. It may be that you need to relax and go read something more appropriate such as Childrens World. If you said, “water,” go to the next question.

• (3) If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks, what is a greenhouse made of?

Answer: “Glass.” If you said, “green bricks,” what the devil are you doing still reading these questions? If you said, “glass,” you can go on to the next question.

• (4) It’s 20 years ago and a plane is flying at 20,000 over Germany. (If you remember, at the time Germany was politically divided into East Germany and West Germany) Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately, the engine fails before he has time and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany or West Germany or in “no man’s land.”?

Answer: You don’t, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must never attempt to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, “don’t bury the survivors,” then you can go on to the next question.

• (5) If the hour hand moves 1/60th of a degree every minute, how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?

Answer: “One degree.” If you said, “360 degrees” or any other number other than “1 degree,” you are to be congratulated for getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn your pencil in and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

• (6) Without using a calculator ….. You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon,4 people get off, and 2 people get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off, and 16 people get on. In Swansea, 3 people get off, and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud. Don’t you remember? It was YOU!

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Q: How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old woman to say the “F” word?

A: Get another sweet little 80-year-old woman to yell, “BINGO!”

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Don’t you just love Maxine!!