Category: Senior Humor

Three old longtime friends — A Presbyterian minister, a Catholic priest, and a Rabbi — got together and were discussing funerals when the question came up, “When you are in your casket and your friends and family and congregates are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say?”

snow·bird (snō’bûrd’)

n. Slang. …

THIS KIND OF STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP!

Have you noticed that Stairs are getting steeper, Groceries are getting heavier, and Everything is farther away? Yesterday I walked to the corner, and I was dumbfounded to discover how long our street had become!

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up, they just keep repeating themselves endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they’re red in the face! Who do they think I am, a lip reader?

For the first time in many years, an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.

Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn’t help but comment, “The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was only 15 cents.”

“Well, sir,” the attendant replied with a grin, “You’re really going to enjoy yourself. We have sound now..”