Returning to College

Practical Advice for Seniors Returning to College

After my recent post, titled College-Affiliated Retirement Communities, it occurred to me that having recently spent several years as a returning student, there just may be some useful information that could be shared.

Since it would be difficult to discern just who might benefit or even be interested in what returning to school has meant for me, let me just share some of my experiences, and hope that my take has some intrinsic value. Here are some of my observations regarding returning to school as a senior:

• To the delight of the ladies returning to school, for the most part mini-skirts have become outdated. Casual is generally the wardrobe flavor these days. It’s not like it was years back when we spent hours choosing what to wear.
• On that note, if the class you really want to take happens to be at night, and you fear taking it would push you beyond bedtime, go ahead and purchase a pair of flannel nightpants and a comfortable t-shirt, and go for it. It’s usually perfectly acceptable to dress this way for class, though you will feel slightly uncomfortable at first. This way, you’ll get to take the class you want and be ready for bed immediately upon returning home. Don’t forget to brush (or soak) your teeth.
• Once you’ve become a student and are considering taking an easy class to up your GPA, how about a 20th Century History course? Easy A. For most of the semester you’ll hardly have to crack a book. Mostly this will be an exercise to jog your memory and stroll down memory lane. By all means, however, try to resist the overwhelming urge to correct your professor.
• Immediately exchange digits with fellow students. Don’t actually use that word, but you will need to have a way to contact your fellow classmates should you have an arthritis flare-up and miss an important lecture.
• Not many people actually make this comment at the college level, but occasionally you’ll get someone, who out of frustration will comment to another, “Act your age and not your IQ.” Try not to be bothered if upon hearing this remark you find yourself deep in thought over how quickly that gap is narrowing. Suddenly you’ll find yourself curiously pondering the correlation between IQ and longevity. Aha, the brain still works. Welcome back to college!
• Quicker than you can imagine, you will develop a good rapport with other students. It is perfectly acceptable to converse with them at great length in the parking lot. While their eyes are scanning the horizon (for reasons that youthful eyes scan the horizon), use that time to figure out where in the world you parked your car.
• Take an English Lit class. Nothing like a little Eudora Welty or Flannery O’Connor for some healthy mental exercise. I consider good literature a type of non-numerical sudoku.
• Take a Math class. I recently had a professor call me up after class to ask how I continually aced his tests. Duh!! They have calculators now, and it’s perfectly okay to use them on the tests.
• I hesitate to mention, but on the delicate subject of flatulence, feeling a little gaseous is no longer a valid reason to cut class. Pretty quickly into the semester a fellow students will, pardon the expression, “Pass gas.” Rather than a room filled with giggles or loud derogatory statements expressed at the poor offender, at least one or maybe more will approvingly mutter, “Nice rip!” Save your absences for another day.
• If it’s one of those really beautiful blue-skied days out and you’re feeling especially invigorated and perky in your retro blue jeans and Hendrix t-shirt (Hendrix is still cool, by the way), don’t be offended if when this really nice looking guy, or gal for that matter, politely opens the door for you and as you graciously and yes, even flirtatiously smile and say, “Thank you,” there comes the retort, “Yes, Ma’am.” Reality check.
• Regarding “Yes, ma’am” and “Yes, sir”: You may want to speak to your professors immediately regarding not needing to address you with such formality. Careful though, as they will, however, reserve the right to address you this way immediately should you have the overwhelming urge to occasionally point out that despite whatever letters follow their name, on certain things they don’t have a clue. Quid pro quo.
• Occasionally, you will be invited to someone’s house or a pub for study sessions. Go!
• While at one of these same late-night study sessions, you should find yourself yawning and realizing that your brain is turning to mush and you best be getting home, don’t worry that you are missing out on valuable study hours leaving you hopelessly behind the rest of the group. Politely excuse yourself and call it a night. The next morning, after you’ve been up, had your coffee, showered, dressed, and reviewed all of the previous study material and then some, twenty-year-old hands all over campus are synchronously slapping snooze buttons. They’ll later scramble to class in an under-caffeinated panic. Go ahead — set the curve.
• Should you decide to further your technical education, there are a few things you should understand about nerds. To a techie, when referred to as a “nerd,” especially by another nerd, no higher form of personal reference can be made. A true nerd reads Biblical-sized textbooks — for fun. They may never finish their degree, but they’ve read more books, page for page, than most PhD’s, and then some. They are highly competitive - about everything. These nerds have studied hard to attain nerd status, and they often don’t share knowledge easily, if at all. Thus the acronym: RTFM. This means, in its politest forms: “Read the fine manual.” If you find yourself in a class full of these guys, take a deep breath, quietly walk out of the classroom, and drop it at once.

Seriously, if you live in a retirement community or any other community that has a nearby campus, take advantage of the opportunity to continue your education. If the retirement community you live in is not near a university, there is always the option of taking online classes. Sitting in a classroom with the ability to interact with others and listen to a live lecture is preferable, in my opinion, but either beats not taking a class at all.

And don’t underestimate community colleges either. Often, you will find adjunct professors teaching classes at a community college while working on their PhD’s. As a returning senior student, you will be surprised at all that you will get from your experience. Most students and professors will not treat you any differently because of your age. This age thing, you may quickly realize, is not a handicap unless you allow it to become one.

Don’t be intimidated either if you haven’t been to college in what seems an incredibly long time. Sure, there are brilliant students out there, and that can be intimidating; but there are not as many as you would think. Take remedial classes if needed. As a student, you bring with you invaluable wisdom, and it won’t take you long to realize that you will learn as much from observing youth as from living it.