Seniors Looking for Romance — Is It Worth the Effort?
At a recent friendly gathering, conversation somehow drifted to the subject of dating. Having been out of the dating scene since pizza and a movie for two ran around ten bucks, curiosity definately had me paying attention.
The one single lady in the group, who by the way is a fabulous lady, talked about her newest social activity – square dancing classes. Though no new romance had become of her learning to dosado, the exercise was great; and when asked why she continued, her reply was “Have you ever seen someone square dancing that didn’t have a smile on their face?”
As we continued on with our discussion, the subject then ventured to the topic of online dating services. And while this particular friend had not yet joined one of these services, what I found really interesting is that each of us in this group knew of someone that had successfully found romance online.
Later that evening, I found myself thinking of all of the people I knew that are over 50 and single. Each one of them seem to be independent and happy with their current lifestyles; yet many of them would love to meet some fantastic person to share their life with, if given a choice. And yet with the exception of maybe one or two of these single friends, none had chosen to seek the assistance of an online matchmaking service.
From what I’ve seen and heard, finding someone compatible becomes harder and harder as we age. By the time a person reaches seniorhoodTM, they are pretty much set in their ways, so their selective process is a little more stringent than when they were younger. The perfect Friday evening is now spent curled up with a good novel or visiting with a few close friends. Couples often consider this a perfect Friday evening, also; but if you’re single, it’s unlikely you’ll find romance at home on the couch.
One might ask if trying to find that special someone is really worth the effort? Is it worth it to get up off the couch and join in with mixed social activities, or step outside of our comfort zone and perhaps submit a profile to a reputable online dating service? Especially, for women, who find with each passing decade that they outnumber men with increasing odds. Not trusting my own personal bias to be sufficient, I did some researching. The answer, according to some pretty highly thought of studies, appears to be a resounding, “Yes.”
Dr. Dean Ornish, a reknowned doctor and author (Love and Survival), stated that, “Love is a basic human need. When we don’t get it, we pay a price in how long we live and how likely we are to get sick.” Ornish goes on to say, “…social isolation increases the risk of early death up to five times.”
Duke University also did a study of 1400 people with heart disease and found those that were married or had a confidant were one-third less likely to die than those who felt isolated. In the April ‘06 issue of Psychology and Aging, it was reported that loneliness can add 30 points to a blood pressure reading in individuals over the age of 50.
In the February ‘07 issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry, findings on a study were reported on 823 individuals, with an average age of 80.7, and the relationship between loneliness and Alzheimer’s disease. This study showed that the type of dementia linked to Alzheimer’s disease is twice as likely to develop in lonely individuals late in life as those who aren’t lonely.
The studies are endless, and the results all similar: love, whether romantic or through close friendships, are crucial to our well-being. The need for affection begins in infancy, and that need doesn’t diminish just because we age. As an infant, love should come to you; but as an adult, we often have to seek love out. And if that takes a little effort, surely it’s worth it.
